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Friday, 08 October 2010

  • [Poem]Night Life

    While the living people stay

    Inside their safe little sanctuary,

    The vamps come out to play

    Not having to be wary.

     

    Watching the living as they sleep,

    Never making a peep,

    Sometimes frighting...

    But look into their eyes and see...

     

    Loneliness filling their lives

    Until they find...

    Someone just as crazy

    For them to call "Mine."

     

    You never know who could be that vamp,

    Waiting to be loved.

    So, do as Jesus would do...

    And love as you want love.

     

    No matter the differences,

    Between races or faces,

    Jesus loves us all,

    So why not love, because He loves us all?

     

    Let the night commence,

    because with His might...

    Where there is dark...

    There always comes the light.

     

Monday, 30 August 2010

  • How much has your life changed...?

    I've been thinking a lot... about many things, but one thing that comes to mind is how much my life has changed in two years.

    Before I met him...

    I never knew anything about mental disorders. I've heard of them, but never researched into them.

    I was almost always alone. I felt like no one dared to get close to me... to get to know me.

    I thought I was weird. I didn't fit into any group. Because of being alone and being an outcast, I had low self-esteem.

    I had no idea I was affecting anyone by just being me.

     

    I bet by now, everyone reading this is... pretty confused. If you haven't read any of my previous blogs, you don't know that I probably live one of the insanest... if that's even a word, lives ever. My older brother, Kyrin, has Dissociative Identity Disorder. This used to be called "Multiple Personality Disorder." Ever seen or heard about the show "United States of Tara?" Yeah... I'm living that life. I'm like Tara's husband.

    I never knew about this in all the time I knew him before two years ago. To me, he was just really quiet, and quite scary. When I would see him, he'd just be standing against the wall, with his hands crossed. He, however, interested me. It was because he was always so quiet when I saw him. Then, my junior year in high school, he started talking to me, out of the blue. I got to know that he was quite weird. He fit my weirdness, though. He would always make my friends and I laugh with what he said. I felt like I fit in with someone a little bit more.

    When he graduated, I thought I would never see him again, and to be honest, it made me cry. This was the first time I had ever shed a tear around him. Thank God, though, because in September of my Senior year, we met again at a school event called "Fields of Faith.", thanks to my older sister. We started messaging each other every chance we got. Texted each other, had MANY late night conversations. Then one fateful night, while we were walking around, hanging out, we got into a really serious conversation, and he said he had something to tell me. He just came out with it. And that is when my life really changed.

    I got to know each of his personalities, or what they are technically called, "alters." I got to know why he had every quirk that he had. I had the chance to figure out why he seemed so scary in the first place. It changed me...

    I've gained self-esteem because of all the support I've gotten from him and the alters. I've learned about different lifestyles because of his alters. I also learned that even when it doesn't seem like it, I help people in some way. I still have a way to go, but with Kyrin and his alters, I'm learning so much more... about God, about life... about everything.

    One day, I hope to put an interview on Xanga with him. Maybe that way, people will learn more about this disorder, and what it is like from his point of view.

    If anyone is interested in finding out more about this disorder from an outside perspective, then you can click these next few links... [And before I get too far into this, yes. We used to date, however, some friendships should be left at just that. Friendships.]

    "I am spellbound..."

    "The [as complete as you'll ever get it] List of Kyrin's Alters"

    "A wise man once told me, "Think about who you're impacting when you say that...""

    "I hear voices in my head..."

     

    Feel free to leave a comment on anything... questions, confusion, and I'll either answer it, or who knows? It might be a question I ask him in what I hope to be an amazing interview.

    - <3 - Gracie

Saturday, 28 August 2010

  • -ding ding- Time for... HOTTIES OF XANGA, ROUND TWO!

    Dang... this is shocking. I've actually moved on to round two of this! O_O'

     

    So... to vote on WEDNESDAY, go... here. :)

    For this round, there are two parts. First part, the picture. This picture should scream essentially... "DO ME." Now... this might not scream "Do me!" but more... "Make love to me... but marry me first." :P Innocence always have the ability to capture the fantasy of random fetish-having people.

    Yeah... I took two photos. The second one, I love... and plus it shows I was wearing a dress the whole time. =P Planning on posting this on Facebook, so don't want anyone to have a heart attack. xP Although, starting to like the first one...

    Part two... ten questions. xP

     

    1) If you were stranded on a desert island that was completely inhabitable, ie. tons of edible fruits, veggies, and animals, and plenty of fresh water, and you had to choose one Xangan to be trapped on the island with you, who would you pick?  Keep in mind that you are going to be living with this person for the REST of your life on this island, so pick wisely!

    This is no contest... AngelWithAThousandFaces. He's my best friend in real life, and if you read my blog... you'd know why. =P He has multiple personalities, first off, so the mental power of 24+ people? Heck yes... and plus, it would never be boring. :)

    2) You're at a strip club, and a HOT female stripper wants to take you to the VIP room and show you a good time for free.  Just because you're a Hottie.  Do you go, regardless of significant others, your sexuality, your morals, etc.?

    Even regardless of SO's, sexuality, morals... they would have to be really close to me personally for me to even consider it. Either that, or have a great personality. [However... according to morals and sexuality, it would NEVER happen. =P Sorry, ladies.]

    3) If you could pick one song to describe your life, what would it be?  ONLY ONE!

    "Airplanes" by B.o.B featuring Hayley Williams. It tells about how they came from the worst surroundings, and yet, now, they have come out of that life and are living so much better. It reminds me of my personal struggles, even if they weren't as bad as theirs, and how I have come out better from those situations.

    4) What's the most awkward situation you've ever been in?  It could be a date, a sexual experience, an embarrassing moment, whatever.  I just want to laugh at you all, so spill!

    This is going to be a band nerd story, as well as a high school freshman story. It was my very first football game to be in the marching band. All I heard was "wear the shirt." Well, my mind didn't register to wear the shirt that he gave out to the band. Well, I wore a lime green tank top under my band uniform that first game. He was SO pissed. But back then, I didn't know any better... I was kinda stupid. But now... that's the one thing my class of 2009 band friends remember... and I wish they wouldn't. xP

    5) If you had to get one thing pierced on your body (even if you don't particularly like piercings, you still have to pick) what would it be and why?  For those of you who already have piercings, you can tell us about one you already have, or pick a location for a new one! 

    I already have one piercing in my ears... that never gets used that much. However, one piercing that I'm interested in are snake bites lip piercing. I had never even really seen that type of lip piercing until my friend drew out one of his personalities... 

    Hopefully you can see there what he has pierced. I think that is so cool... even though I don't know if having it pierced like drawn above is possible. But I love it anyways. ^_^

    6) What is your favorite piece of clothing you own and why?  Fashion Freaks must answer this as well!  I don't care how many pairs of Sevens you have that you love, PICK ONE.

    I have a love for hoodies... but my favorite one would have to be this one:

    First off... cozy and roomy. But it also has a serious meaning... I got that my Freshman year, back when I was still a child about how everything works in high school... back when I knew people could hate you, but didn't know how people could be so two-faced. Now, I know MUCH better.

    7) You can fuck one superstar.  Who is it?

    As I have said, I love to watch wrestling... well, I have a celeb crush on this guy named Kofi Kingston...

    I have this weakness for Jamaicans... and for a little bit of his career, he did an AMAZING Jamaican accent, that tricked me, but mesmerized me into loving him. Now that he hasn't done the Jamaican deal, he still makes me smile everytime I see him on the screen. :) [...plus, I wouldn't mind marrying and making love to him... though he is already married. But I can dream, right? ;)]

    8) What is your favorite vacation spot, and why?  Pics would be great!

    Honestly, I do not go out vacationing that often. However, I have been to one place that I would absolutely LOVE to go back to again.

    Branson. I went with my choir my Senior year... and besides the minor drama, it was so awesome... from the restaurants to Silver Dollar City, it was just awe-taking. I couldn't get enough of it. :)

    9) What's your favorite physical quality about yourself?

    My favorite physical quality about myself is my shoulders, strangely. I love how freckled they are, I love how they fit with my upper body, and I just love how they just fit with the rest of my body. ^_^

    10) What's your favorite inner quality about yourself?

    Some would consider this a weakness, but my favorite inner quality is that sometimes, I tend to care too much. I care how my friends feel too much. While I'm working on caring for myself a little more, I still consider myself caring for people my favorite quality. I've thought about it... God blessed me with this gift. If I did not have this much capacity to care, then I probably would've never gotten to have my two best friends... no, my older brother and sister, still by my side to this day.

    :) I would be nothing without God and my brother and sister (^) by my side.

     

    So... there you have it! Round two! Again, you can vote for me [HERE!] Thank you to everyone voted for me the first time, and I hope to see everyone in the next round! :)

    Peace and love,

     

    Miss Blade

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

  • What are your stances on homosexual marriage and the NYC Islamic Cultural Center controversy?

    On homosexual marriage? It's not going to destroy my future marriage if they do. I'm not the one to judge if someone is gay. I leave it up to God. I'm starting to think He makes everyone different in every way, INCLUDING sexuality, so that He'll see how we approach them. He says to love EVERYONE, and not to judge, because He will be the one to judge. Not just people who are straight... EVERY FREAKING PERSON. -sigh- Wish everyone would see this.

    Now... the NYC Islamic Cultural Center, I'm open for having it, because I'm not the type of Christian who at first glance, will shove my religion down your throat. However, it might be a little insensitive to have it so close to Ground Zero. On the other hand, I read a blog who posted the names of many Islamic people who had lost their lives because of 9/11. So pretty much, I'm not sure which side I am on. Leaning towards having it.

    Irony... the song, "Believe" by Yellowcard started playing while I posted this. =P Which is a song about 9/11.

     

       

    I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!

Monday, 23 August 2010

  • [H0TTIES 0F XANGA, R0UND UN0!]

    So, as everyone may or may not know, there is this whole pageant-esque Miss Xangamerica type contest going down called "Hotties of Xanga." To get more information on this contest, as well as the first round, go... here! I'll wait... =P

    For those of you that already know, voting begins on THIS Thursday. So, if I'm your favorite, vote then. ^_^ So... here it goes...

     

    Name: Gracie. [However... I will answer to everything... I have so many "names", I'm surprised I remember my own!]

    Age: 19.

    If I watched you long enough,  what would you be doing most of the time? [AKA: Hobbies]: I'm a music nerd... so I'm either singing or listening to music most times. The little book above, "Mass of the Children," is a five movement piece for chorus and orchestra, also a piece that my choir in college did during my Freshman Spring semester. (Just so everyone won't be going, "What does the book mean?!") However, when I'm not doing this, I'm hanging out with my two best friends, doing anything and everything. A secret-ish hobby of mine is watching World Wrestling Entertainment. Just to see how storylines and wrestling combine is amazing... no matter how many people tell me it's fake. I also love being happy. There is very little that could make me upset. It would have to be something major for me to be upset. I have more, but this will do for now. ^_^

    What are you doing with your life?! [AKA: Career Path]: Right now, I am a full time student at Henderson State University, majoring in Music Education, with the focus... in vocal music. After the next three years... plus a semester of internship, I hope to find a job teaching middle school to high school students about music, and using their voice to make wonderful music.

    What's your passion?: Music. I'm either singing, listening, or reading music for certain college classes. =P

    Favorite Xangans to Read! TELL ME NOW!: Now, I may cause a bit of controversy here, because of my picks, despite major Xanga drama, however, I stand by my choices.

     

    1. DearRicky: Despite the controversy surrounding him, I love to read everything he writes. He has his times to be serious, his times to be hilarious, and then he has his times to bring almost all the Xangan girls to their knees. Also, despite the drama he has been dealing with, he is STILL not afraid to be himself 100%, and to voice his opinions and hold strong to them. I hope that I can be that strong mentally one day soon.

    2. BohemianLotus: She reminds me of the reason I got into Xanga in the first place. When I first signed up, my purpose for having one in the first place, was to let all my thoughts, feelings, and daily events. The good days, the boring days, and the days where it seems like nothing goes your way. I also try my best to do one of two things: Help people out, or make them feel better. When I read blogs like these, if I can relate, I will comment and try to do one of those two things.

    3. SerenaDante: Even though I might not agree with a few of her views, I love to read her because she has the perfect balance of seriousness and hilarity in each of her writings. Also, since I was pretty sheltered from knowing about adult issues, such as sex, her blog gives me insight to that, and ideas that later down the road in my life, I hope to use.

     

    Now you have a little insight into my mind, my inner workings, my thoughts, if you will. I hope I made this interesting, and remember, voting starts on Thursday, no earlier, no later than Sunday. You can vote...

     

    HERE!

     

    Hope to see you guys in Round 2. ;)

     

    ~Gracie, AKA Miss Blade

GorgeousGracie09

  • Visit GorgeousGracie09's Xanga Site
    • Name: Gracie
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/8/2008

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About Me

  • Hey everyone! This is Gracie... A.K.A Shalua. [Shalua is somewhat of an alter ego that I've embraced that my very fraternal twin came up with. =P] I love music, shiny things, Shy Guys, books and my twin. ^_^ You might see that he has been referred to as boyfriend and fiance, but that is no more... but we're still as close as ever... maybe closer. So... take a look into the life of a person that sees multiple personalities on a daily basis. 8D

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